The Islamic Bulletin Volume X X No. 26 Page 13 with another man, and wanted to leave our marriage. This was a blow to my very soul and for two years I went deep into alcohol and cocaine abuse. One evening after that time I was sitting with my then fiancée watching television, and a commercial came on for the U.S. Army. It wanted me to be all that I could be, and said I could choose to be stationed in Germany if I signed up. That impressed me, but I was planning another marriage and it just went by me. However, when my fiancée got cold feet, I found myself groping around for a firm foothold again. I joined the Army and went to Germany; for three years I gave the Army all that I had. I did well, and it felt comfortable. When I got out I moved back to Sacramento and hooked up with a couple of old high school friends who had their own business. I began working with them. Not making much money, but the company was good, and the work was consistent. We drank a lot, and one Friday I had off of work I found myself in a TGI Fridays drinking shots of whiskey and beer at 11am. I drank steadily until around 1:30pm. I was extremely drunk, but of course, I got in my car to drive home. I never made it home. I was in a car accident and snapped my right leg in two and broke a couple of ribs. Since I hit an oak tree that had been in the same place for about a hundred years and wasn’t moving out of the way for me, at about 90mph right in the driver’s door, I was lucky to be alive. Allah was calling me, and I was listening now. I began to study the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Book of the Dead, the Lotus Sutra and slowly but surely began to be somewhat of an expert on what I thought a good Christian should be. I went to services at a Pentecostal church, thinking that because they encouraged the personal study of the Bible, that I was on the right path. I continued studying all the religious and spiritual books of every religion I could get my hands on. The only book I never picked up, for some reason, was the Quran. I was not ready for Islam. But Allah was preparing me by showing me the shortcomings of other faiths and practices. Then came 9/11. I was astounded that someone could hate us that much. I knew nothing of Islam and had never known a Muslim. I decided to change that. I began studying the Quran from an English translation I found in a used book store. At the outset I was determined to make the focus of my study the flaws in the Quran. That way I could talk to a Muslim and refute Islam. I read and read and studied and studied, but could find none. Even in English, the Quran is flawless. I began to see the truth in the words of the Quran and eventually that truth hit me right between the eyes. I no longer wanted to refute it, I wanted to read it in the original Arabic, and know more about it. I was ready for Islam. Without knowing why, I began to pray on my face for guidance from Allah. I prayed that if this was the truth, He would lead me to it. And that He did. In the weeks that lead up to my conversion, as I continued to ask Allah for guidance, I found out that there was a small masjid only a few blocks from where I was working at the time. I drove by several times before I got the courage up to go in. When I did finally go through the door, the Imam was standing not four feet in front of me. He smiled, but was not sure if I had made a mistake or what I wanted. He only spoke very broken English, and I spoke no Urdu at all, but we managed, with Allah’s help, to make each other understood. I wanted to know about Islam, and he wanted to teach me. I went back every other day for two weeks, and talked to him and watched prayers, but did not participate. At the beginning of one prayer time a man came in and saw me there and slapped me on the back and said “Let’s make Voodoo!!” Voodoo? Oh man, did I get a wrong number? Then someone explained to me it was spelled Wudhu and it means a ritual ablution in preparation for prayer. A Muslim performs this five times a day with each prayer time. The next time I came I was encouraged to make my declaration of faith by saying the “Shahada.” In Arabic it is: “Ashadu inna la ilaha Ilallah wa ashadu inna Muhammad Rasul-Allah.” In English it means: “I attest that there is no god except Allah, and I attest that Muhammad is His messenger.” The brothers who were there along with the Imam conferred for a while and gave me a new name to go along with my new faith. Abdu Rahim. I treasure that name. It was given to me by some very sincere and devoted brothers. I quickly discovered that my name wasn’t the only thing that needed to change. Accepting Islam meant giving up one my favorite things in the whole world at the time; bacon, and all pork products. That is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Heroine was not as hard to give up as bacon. I jest, but it is the truth. I accepted Islam in September of 2008, and in May of 2009 I was involved in a car accident; not my fault this time and there was no alcohol to blame. I broke my right leg again, this time lower and really bad. Allah is still working in my life. He put me flat on my back so I could internalize my faith, and strengthens it in the face of adversity. I hope I have passed the test. I still limp, and have to use a cane to get around. They tell me this is Sunnah. In other words, the Prophet (S) used a walking stick. Anything that the Prophet did in his lifetime that we can emulate is called “Sunnah” or, the way of the Prophet. All Muslims strive to emulate the Prophet; in their faith in one God, their prayer, the way they gather knowledge and remember Allah in all things, how they think more of other Muslims than themselves, and practice with a sincere heart all the things the way the Prophet did, so as to have such a level of faith that each encounter we have with anyone, be it Muslim or non-Muslim they come away encouraged, and with a sense of who Allah is and how they can find him. I have only told a handful of my family of my conversion and only one of them, my youngest daughter, is ok with it. She thinks there is much truth in it, but as yet has not embraced Islam. I pray for all my family and the friends from my former life to accept the truth of Islam in their lifetime; but we can’t compel, nor can we force the truth on anyone. Only Allah has that ability. I praise Him and thank Him as often as possible for leading me to the truth of Islam, and am involved in the day to day programs at my local masjid as often as possible. My practice is growing, and my faith is getting stronger. Now I am just a day away from the first day of Ramadan I am able to actively participate in, and I am hoping for strength and patience from Allah to get me through. My story is not over. I still am a young Muslim, and there are so many things to learn and to know. I am enjoying the journey more than ever, because I have faith that Allah is in control. He always was and always will be. He has guided me and protected me from going too far in any bad direction, and helped me find a place where I feel I belong. I always felt Allah at work in my life, leading me somewhere. My name is Abdu Rahim, and I am a Muslim. All glory and All praise to Allah. The Master and Creator of the Universe! ‘’He put me flat on my back so I could internalize my faith.’’
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