The Islamic Bulletin Volume XXII No. 27 Page 11 I remember the day my mother was baking cookies and said, “These are for the family,” meaning I’m not one of them. So I took the hint and moved out. At first, I hadn’t officially told my family that I had converted. I was riding BART to work one day when I fell asleep holding a book about Islam. A woman woke me up and asked me how long I had been Muslim. I told her only a few weeks. She then asked me how my family had taken it and I told her that they didn’t know yet. She then told me stories of her family and how they hadn’t accepted her and how she had been Muslim for about 15 or 20 years. Then she got off a few stops later so our discussion was cut short. That same day I saw my dad at work and he saw me covered for the first time. He surprised me at work but it turned out he got the real surprise when he saw me covered. He ran out and couldn’t say a word. He looked like he was going to cry. I remember feeling really guilty but it was something I had to do. Later my dad called me at work and asked me if I had become a Mohammadan. I told him I became a Muslim, not a Mohammadan. He was silent. Then he replied, “Well, who is going to pay for you?” (I had moved out and needed to pay rent). I replied, “Allah will provide for me.” He then laughed and said, “Well, I leave you to your God,” and hung up. I was shocked at my Dad’s arrogance but then it reminded me of this verse in the Quran: “Or who is he that will provide for you if He should withhold His providence? Nay, but they are set in pride and forwardness.” (Quran 67:21) I then connected with the woman that I had met on BART as a reminder for me from Allah (SWT) to stay strong and not look to the people for acceptance because I will never get it! Q: Have you encountered any problems with your acceptance of Islam? Name change? Fellow workers? When I first became Muslim it was hard because I felt alone. My friends were no longer my friends due our conflict of lifestyles. My family disowned me and my fellow Americans would snub me due to my hijab. After I would speak, the treatment would get better because they would see I was not Arab. It was then when I understood the discrimination against Arabs and Muslims. The only people who were nice to me were my employers. I had been working at one job since I was 15. I became Muslim when I was 20 so I worked at one job for 5 years. He used to let me leave to go to the mosque on Fridays and come back. He never commented on my hijab. I even asked him if my hijab bothered him. I told him I could style it differently and make it more subtle. He said it wasn’t a problem. I also worked at a brokerage company for about a year before I became Muslim. I had debated religion with my manager before so when I became Muslim he wasn’t really surprised. I even got a promotion wearing my hijab. I also had random men hold doors for me and treat me with respect. I went from being treated as an object to a person all because of my scarf. Q: Do you see any similarities between Islam and the other religions in your background? Islam and Judaism have similarities. Jews believe in One God and the same prophets, with the exception of Jesus and Muhammed (Peace be upon them). Q: What impact has Islam had on your life? Islam has brought me peace and serenity. It has centered me and clarified for me the way to live life. I used to be in a constant state of questioning myself and life. Now I am confident. I know how to deal with people in the appropriate manner. Islam has clarified everything for me from cleanliness to business. Q: What was the most difficult thing to change and how long did it take you? Alhamdulilah Allah made my transition pretty easy. I thought about my conversion for a year before I did it. Loneliness at first was really hard. It was hard for me to find Muslim friends so I asked Allah (SWT) to bring me good Muslim friends. It wasn’t until one day, when I was at a park in Oakland, that this little girl came to me and said, “Salaamu Alaikum.” Of course I was happy and looked for her mom. Subhanallah, she came with her Dad. He gave me their number and I contacted his wife. She told me about a park where Muslim moms would meet and let their kids play. Of course I was so excited. I never met up with the woman I talked to on the phone but Alhamdulilah, Allah (SWT) finally led me to a place where I could meet Muslim moms. My dua was answered after 2 years! “The supplication of every one of you will be granted if he does not get impatient and say: ‘I supplicated to my Rabb but my prayer has not been granted.’” Al-Bukhari and Muslim Q: Did you have any problems giving up your old way of life when you embraced Islam? I went through a year of transition before I became Muslim. I wanted to make sure that when I officially converted, I did it right. So my transition was before I had converted which allowed me room for slip-up. Q: What was the most difficult thing to change? How long did it take you? I had a fashion problem. I went from jeans and Birkenstocks to skirts and hijab. My taste in clothes were horrible. I had never had to worry about dressing in a modest way, so the way I put my clothes together was awkward. I eventually moved on to wearing an abaya where I didn’t have to coordinate my clothes. I also remember in the beginning that my hijabs were always falling off. I had no one to show me how to wear a hijab. It wasn’t until my husband’s brother-in-law came from Jordan and I asked him what his wife did to keep her hijab on (I was looking at pictures and noticed her hijab was always stapled on her head). He suggested pins and an under-scarf to keep my hijab from slipping. I remember I was soooo happy when it worked. Q: Did any of your friends or family members become Muslim? My parents cut ties with me when I converted to Islam. They spread propaganda and lies about Islam to my family members in fear someone might convert like me. They feel that my conversion is a failure on their part and don’t want to make the same mistake twice. Every time I try to contact a family member they never respond. Q: Could you tell us a few things about your plans for the future? I would like to contribute to our Muslim community in a positive way. After I became Muslim and started to deal with the Muslims, I became sad to see so much fitna among ourselves. I traveled overseas to live in a Muslim community but found only disappointment in what I saw. We are so far from our Islam. We are filled with jealousy and envy among ourselves. I became so frustrated with the situation that I withdrew from my community and focused only on myself. Then I realized that this also wasn’t healthy. I started making Islamic pictures and sending Islamic emails as an attempt to wake up our Muslim community. My goal is very simple. I just want Muslims to be a stronger community and bring us back to the basics of Islam -Ameen! ‘’My mother was making cookies and said, “These are for the family,” meaning I’m not one of them. So I took the hint and moved out.’’
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