Fathers, Daughters What You Need to Know About Raising 1. If you have younger daughters, perhaps ages five to eight, take them with you to the mosque. Remember that the mosque is a place of worship and is just as much a place for women as it is for men. Establish your daughter’s relationship with the house of God early on. Take her with you and encourage her to perform Salat (prayer), even thoughat this age, it is not required. Just imagine the message this act sends to other fathers. Even though it may be inconvenient at times, an effort to create fond memories is a great step in deeply bonding with your daughter. When your daughter grows up, perhaps she will be more willing to get involved in mosque activities and it may be that you receive reward for that. Remember that the beloved Messenger of Allah (S) said, “Whoever guides someone to virtue will be rewarded equivalent to him who practices that good action.” [Sahih Muslim]. Abu Bakr bin `Ubaidullah bin Anas bin Malik narrated [from Anas] that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: “Whoever raises two girls then I and he will enter Paradise like these two.” And he indicated with his two fingers. [Bukhari] 2. Adolescence is an uncomfortable experience for everyone. Particularly as a young girl, the frightening and sudden physiological changes are accompanied with societal pressures to “look like this” and “walk like that”. As a young teenage girl, dealing with all this pressure can be overwhelming. So when your daughter gets to her teenage years,be aware of the struggles she will certainly face and do not ever dismiss her as ‘emotional’. As a father, your psychological support is extraordinarily important. Be patient with her and let her know you are there for her. If your relationship does not allow for you to speak about feminine issues comfortably, then remember that your wife (or other important women in your daughter’s life) are your allies. Express your concerns to those women and ask them to be there for your daughter. This way, you are aware of the issues she is facing and if or when the time comes, you will be prepared to advise her, or even just listen. 17
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