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The Islamic Bulletin
Volume X X No. 26
Page 13
with another man, and wanted to leave our marriage. This was
a blow to my very soul and for two years I went deep into
alcohol and cocaine abuse.
One evening after that time I was sitting with my then fiancée
watching television, and a commercial came on for the U.S.
Army. It wanted me to be all that I could be, and said I could
choose to be stationed in Germany if I signed up. That
impressed me, but I was planning another marriage and it just
went by me. However, when my fiancée got cold feet, I found
myself groping around for a firm foothold again.
I joined the Army and went to Germany; for three years I gave
the Army all that I had. I did well, and it felt comfortable.
When I got out I moved back to Sacramento and hooked up
with a couple of old high school friends who had their own
business. I began working with them. Not making much money,
but the company was good, and the work was consistent. We
drank a lot, and one Friday I had off of work I found myself in a
TGI Fridays drinking shots of whiskey and beer at 11am. I drank
steadily until around 1:30pm. I was extremely drunk, but of
course, I got in my car to drive home.
I never made it home. I was in a car accident and
snapped my right leg in two and broke a couple of
ribs. Since I hit an oak tree that had been in the
same place for about a hundred years and wasn’t
moving out of the way for me, at about 90mph right
in the driver’s door, I was lucky to be alive.
Allah was calling me, and I was listening now. I
began to study the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the
Book of the Dead, the Lotus Sutra and slowly but
surely began to be somewhat of an expert on what
I thought a good Christian should be. I went to
services at a Pentecostal church, thinking that because they
encouraged the personal study of the Bible, that I was on the
right path. I continued studying all the religious and spiritual
books of every religion I could get my hands on. The only book
I never picked up, for some reason, was the Quran. I was not
ready for Islam. But Allah was preparing me by showing me the
shortcomings of other faiths and practices.
Then came 9/11. I was astounded that someone could hate us
that much. I knew nothing of Islam and had never known a
Muslim. I decided to change that. I began studying the Quran
from an English translation I found in a used book store. At the
outset I was determined to make the focus of my study the
flaws in the Quran. That way I could talk to a Muslim and refute
Islam. I read and read and studied and studied, but could find
none. Even in English, the Quran is flawless.
I began to see the truth in the words of the Quran and
eventually that truth hit me right between the eyes. I no longer
wanted to refute it, I wanted to read it in the original Arabic,
and know more about it. I was ready for Islam. Without
knowing why, I began to pray on my face for guidance from
Allah. I prayed that if this was the truth, He would lead me to
it. And that He did.
In the weeks that lead up to my conversion, as I continued to
ask Allah for guidance, I found out that there was a small masjid
only a few blocks from where I was working at the time. I
drove by several times before I got the courage up to go in.
When I did finally go through the door, the Imam was standing
not four feet in front of me. He smiled, but was not sure if I
had made a mistake or what I wanted. He only spoke very
broken English, and I spoke no Urdu at all, but we managed,
with Allah’s help, to make each other understood. I wanted to
know about Islam, and he wanted to teach me. I went back
every other day for two weeks, and talked to him and watched
prayers, but did not participate.
At the beginning of one prayer time a man came in and saw me
there and slapped me on the back and said “Let’s make
Voodoo!!” Voodoo? Oh man, did I get a wrong number? Then
someone explained to me it was spelled Wudhu and it means a
ritual ablution in preparation for prayer. A Muslim performs this
five times a day with each prayer time.
The next time I came I was encouraged to make my declaration
of faith by saying the “Shahada.” In Arabic it is: “Ashadu inna la
ilaha Ilallah wa ashadu inna Muhammad Rasul-Allah.” In English
it means: “I attest that there is no god except Allah, and I attest
that Muhammad is His messenger.” The brothers who were
there along with the Imam conferred for a while and gave me a
new name to go along with my new faith. Abdu Rahim. I
treasure that name. It was given to me by some very sincere and
devoted brothers.
I quickly discovered that my name wasn’t the only thing that
needed to change. Accepting Islam meant giving up one my
favorite things in the whole world at the time; bacon, and all
pork products. That is one of the hardest things I have ever
done. Heroine was not as hard to give up as bacon. I jest, but it
is the truth.
I accepted Islam in September of 2008, and in
May of 2009 I was involved in a car accident; not
my fault this time and there was no alcohol to
blame. I broke my right leg again, this time lower
and really bad.
Allah is still working in my life. He put me flat on
my back so I could internalize my faith, and
strengthens it in the face of adversity. I hope I
have passed the test. I still limp, and have to use
a cane to get around. They tell me this is Sunnah.
In other words, the Prophet (S) used a walking
stick. Anything that the Prophet did in his lifetime
that we can emulate is called “Sunnah” or, the way of the
Prophet.
All Muslims strive to emulate the Prophet; in their faith in one
God, their prayer, the way they gather knowledge and
remember Allah in all things, how they think more of other
Muslims than themselves, and practice with a sincere heart all
the things the way the Prophet did, so as to have such a level of
faith that each encounter we have with anyone, be it Muslim or
non-Muslim they come away encouraged, and with a sense of
who Allah is and how they can find him.
I have only told a handful of my family of my conversion and
only one of them, my youngest daughter, is ok with it. She
thinks there is much truth in it, but as yet has not embraced
Islam. I pray for all my family and the friends from my former
life to accept the truth of Islam in their lifetime; but we can’t
compel, nor can we force the truth on anyone. Only Allah has
that ability.
I praise Him and thank Him as often as possible for leading me
to the truth of Islam, and am involved in the day to day
programs at my local masjid as often as possible. My practice is
growing, and my faith is getting stronger. Now I am just a day
away from the first day of Ramadan I am able to actively
participate in, and I am hoping for strength and patience from
Allah to get me through.
My story is not over. I still am a young Muslim, and there are so
many things to learn and to know. I am enjoying the journey
more than ever, because I have faith that Allah is in control. He
always was and always will be. He has guided me and protected
me from going too far in any bad direction, and helped me find
a place where I feel I belong. I always felt Allah at work in my
life, leading me somewhere. My name is Abdu Rahim, and I am
a Muslim.
All glory and All praise to Allah. The Master and Creator of the
Universe!
‘’He put me flat on
my back so I could
internalize my
faith.’’