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and the respect women are looking for is diminishing in this way
Issue 21
E
xperience
of
a
C
onverted
H
indu
W
oman
By Sr. Nur
I came from a purely Hindu family where we were always taught to
regard ourselves (i.e. women) as beings who were eventually to be
married off and have children and serve the husband - whether he
was kind or not. Other than this I found that there were a lot of things
which really oppressedwomen, such as: If awomanwas widowed, she
would always have to wear a white sari (outfit), eat vegetarian meals,
cut her hair short, and never remarry. The bride always had to pay
the dowry (bridal money) to the husband’s family. And the husband
could ask for anything, irrespective of whether the bride would have
difficulty giving it. Not only that, if after marriage she was not able pay
the full dowry she would be both emotionally and physically tortured,
and could end up being a victimof ‘kitchen death’ where the husband,
or both the mother-in-law and the husband try to set fire to the wife
while she is cooking or is in the kitchen, and try to make it look like an
accidental death. More and more of these instances are taking place.
The daughter of a friend of my own father’s had the same fate last year!
In addition to all this, men in Hinduism are treated literally as among
the gods. In one of the religious Hindu celebrations, unmarried girls
pray for and worship an idol representing a particular god (Shira) so
that they may have husbands like him. Even my own mother had
asked me to do this. This made me see that the Hindu religion which
is based on superstitions and things that have no manifest proof, but
were merely traditions which oppressed women could not be right.
Consequently, when I came to England to study, I thought that at
least this is a country which gives equal rights to men and women,
and does not oppress them. We all have the freedom to do as we
like, I thought. Well, as I started to meet people and make new
friends, learn about this new society, and go to all the places my
friends went to in order to ‘socialize’ (bars, dance halls, etc.). I real-
ized that this ‘equality’ was not so true in practice as it was in theory.
Outwardly,womenwere seen tobegivenequal rights ineducation,work,
and so forth, but in realitywomenwere still oppressed inadifferent,more
subtleway.When I went withmy friends to those places they hung out at,
I found everybody interested to talk tome and I thought that was normal.
But it was only later that I realized how naive I was, and recognized what
these people were really looking for. I soon began to feel uncomfortable,
as if I was not myself. I had to dress in a certain way so that people would
likeme, andhad to talk ina certainway toplease them. I soon found that I
was feelingmoreandmoreuncomfortable, less and lessmyself, yet I could
not get out. Everybody was saying they were enjoying themselves, but I
don’t call this enjoying. I think women in this way of life are oppressed;
they have to dress in a certain way in order to please and appear more
appealing, and also talk in a certain way so people like them.
During this time I had not thought about Islam, even though I had some
Muslimacquaintances. But I felt I really had todo something, to find some-
thing that Iwouldbehappyandsecurewith, andwouldfeel respectedwith.
Somethingtobelieveinthatistherightbelief,becauseeverybodyhasabelief
that they live according to. If having fun by getting off with other people is
someone’s belief, they do this. If making money is someone’s belief, they
doeverything toachieve this. If theybelievedrinking is oneway toenjoy life
then they do it. But I feel all this leads to nowhere; no one is truly satisfied,
In these days of so called ‘society of equal rights’, you are expected to
have a boyfriend (or you’re weird!) and to not be a virgin. So this is
a form of oppression even though some women do not realize it.
When I came to Islam, it was obvious that I had finally found
permnent secu-
rity. A religion, a belief that was
so complete and clear in every
aspect of life.
Many people have a miscon-
ception that Islam is an oppres-
sive religion where women are
covered from head to toe, and
are not allowed any freedom or
rights. In fact, women in Islam
are given more rights, and have
been for the past 1400 years,
compared to the only-recently
rights given to non-Muslimwom-
en in some western and some
other societies. But there are, even now, societies where women are
still oppressed, as I mentioned earlier in relation to Hindu women.
Muslim women have the right to inheritance. They have the right to
run their own trade and business. They have the full right to owner-
ship, property, disposal over their wealth to which the husband has no
right. They have the right to education, a right to refuse marriage as
long as this refusal is according to reasonable and justifiable grounds.
The Qur’an itself, which is the Word of God, contains many verses
commanding men to be kind to their wives and stressing the rights of
women. Islam gives the right set of rules, because they are NOT made
by men, but made by God; hence it is a perfect religion.
Quite often Muslim women are asked why they are covered from
head to toe, and are told that this is oppression - it is not. In Islam,
marriage is an important part of life, the making of the society.
Therefore, a woman should not go around showing herself to ev-
erybody, only for her husband. Even the man is not allowed to show
certain parts of his body to none but his wife. In addition, God has
commanded Muslimwomen to cover themselves for their modesty:
‘O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of
the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) over their bodies (when
outdoors). That is most convenient that they could be known as
such (i.e. decent and chaste) and not molested.’
(Qur’an 33:59)
Another point I’d like to comment on is that the rules and regulation
laid down in Islam by God do not apply just to women but to men
also. There is no intermingling and free-running between men and
women for the benefit of both. Whatever God commands is right,
wholesome, pure and beneficial to mankind; there is no doubt
about that. A verse in the Qur’an explains this concept clearly:
“Say
to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and protect their
private parts (i.e. from indecency, illegal sexual acts, etc.); that will make
forgreaterpurityforthem.AndGodiswellawareofwhattheydo.Andsay
to thebelievingwomen that theyshould lower their gazeandprotect their
privateparts(fromindecency,illegalsexualintercourse,etc.),andthatthey
shouldnot display their beauty andornaments...”
(Quran24:31)
When I put on my hijab (veil), I was really happy to do it. In fact, I really
want to do it. When I put on the hijab, I felt a great sense of satisfaction
and happiness. Satisfied that I had obeyed God’s command and happy
with the good and blessings that come with it. I have felt secure and
protected. In fact people respect me more for it. I could really see the
difference in behavior towards me. Finally, I’d like to say that I had ac-
cepted Islam not blindly, or under any compulsion. In the Qur’an itself
there is a verse which says,
‘Let there be no compulsion in religion’.
I accepted Islam with conviction. I have seen, been there, done that,
and seen both sides of the story. I know and have experienced what the
other side is like, and I know that I have done the right thing. Islam does
not oppress women, but rather Islam liberates them and gives them the
respect they deserve. Islam is the religion God has chosen for the whole
of mankind. Those who accept it are truly liberated from the chains and
shackles of mankind whose ruling and legislating necessitates nothing
but the oppression of one group by another and the exploitation and
oppression of one sex by the other. This is not the case of Islam which
truly liberated women and gave them an individuality not given by any
other authority.